Wednesday 25 April 2012

Musings on why glamrock does not travel well...

Theory No 1...

When I was hanging out with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin et al in early Vegas..You know..when we were just starting out... Frank made a ham, cress and mustard sandwich that blew everyones mind, a feat which he could never repeat..Years later I tried to recreate Frank's sandwich only to discover at the supermarket they don't keep the mustard with the other condiments, they keep it next to the spice rack ... ( even the mustard mayo is in the condiment isle )...years later on his death bed Frank admitted that this drove him out of his mind and led to his love of Campbells tomato soup..' They keep all the soups together Jonny ' ..He said...' Yeah Frank' I said ' all is well '
See...you cant take something illiteral to a literal country ..A man dressed as a woman is no threat to your wife does not apply in the sceptred isle.... When an Englishman dresses as a woman no one is safe...Right boys ?.....They don't keep all the soups together Frank ..I lied to you bruv...Hope you can forgive me....Jonny Orphan x

Tuesday 28 February 2012

Dear Lord the Surgeon General please excuse Thee Orphans from guilt or consequence ( they seem to have forgotten their kit )... and also while you're there anyone that knows them, loves em....hates em.. whatever......There you go kids READY...AIM....GO!!! its ya get outa jail free card....Wanna pay the piper though?? Always best to cross the palm that gives with the queens shilling ...If rock n roll be the sweat of the damnedest of the damnedest  ( Are you drawnest ??  ) let 's get naked.. maybe we can build a sweatlodge  together... and bond like mothers...who loves ya??? ... ...Thee Orphans..xx